Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
