Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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