I'm eating all of the evidence.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
