i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
