Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I touched a dick in church today
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
