Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
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Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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