Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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