did you get engaged???
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
