his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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