So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
