Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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