Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
