rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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