She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
