she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize