I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize
