I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
