i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
