Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
She's the barista slut.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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