i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
