have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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