i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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