Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize