he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
