ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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