I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
