Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
