Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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