I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Randomize
