my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
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