Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
