You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
