I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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