so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
