I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
