Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
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I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
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You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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