Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
