A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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