I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
