i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize