WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
