dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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