you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
