i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Randomize
