Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
mondays should just be called national damage control day
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
