I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
