just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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