You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
