Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
