I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize