You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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