is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
