Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
