She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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