I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize