I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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