paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
There's always time for handjobs
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
